The Power in Healthy Boundaries – Darlene Lancer

The Power in Healthy Boundaries – Darlene Lancer

What are boundaries and why are they important?

Boundaries are the physical and emotional limits we set with other people to protect our well-being, freedom, and sense of self. Healthy boundaries allow us to give of ourselves freely while also honoring our own needs.

When we have weak boundaries, we may say “yes” when we really want to say “no.” This leads to resentment, burnout, and feeling taken advantage of. Strong boundaries allow us to take better care of ourselves so we have more energy for the relationships that matter most.

How to Identify Unhealthy Boundary Situations

Pay attention to situations that leave you feeling drained, guilty, or taken for granted. You may be giving too much while receiving little in return. Other signs of poor boundaries include:

  • Difficulty saying “no”
  • Letting others make choices for you
  • Feeling responsible for others’ happiness

Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries

Start small and practice saying “no” to requests that overstep your limits. Be clear about what you will and won’t accept from others. Remember that taking care of yourself first allows you to better help those you care about.

Other healthy boundary tips include:

  • Know your limits and honor them
  • Don’t apologize for your choices
  • Let go of guilt and people-pleasing tendencies

The Benefits of Healthy Boundaries

Living authentically allows deeper connections in relationships. You can give freely while also filling your own cup. Other benefits include:

  • Less stress and resentment
  • Increased self-respect
  • Better work-life balance
  • Improved mental health

FAQ

What are some examples of poor boundaries?

Examples include having difficulty saying no, ignoring personal needs and wellbeing, allowing others to criticize or abuse you, giving advice without being asked, and sharing private information or venting without consent.

How do I start setting boundaries?

Start small. Say no to a request that typically makes you feel drained or resentful. Be polite yet firm in upholding your boundary. Let go of guilt, and don’t apologize for caring for yourself.

What if someone gets upset with my boundaries?

Healthy relationships allow room for both people’s needs. Explain your reasons calmly and clearly. If they won’t respect reasonable limits, you may need to reconsider the relationship.

How do I open up while still maintaining boundaries?

Share information gradually to test someone’s trustworthiness over time. Correct people who ask invasive questions. Maintain privacy around certain topics until you know someone better.

What if I feel guilty about my needs?

Remind yourself that self-care allows you to be fully present for others. Your needs are just as important as anyone else’s. Let go of people-pleasing tendencies.