Focus on Your Wellbeing First
As we enter a new year, many people make ambitious resolutions aimed at self-improvement and life changes. While these goals come from an admirable place, wellness consultant Ava Green encourages focusing first on self-care, self-acceptance, and self-compassion – rather than rapid external changes.
Understand Your Motivations
Green asks her clients to reflect carefully on what motivates their resolution goals. Is it coming from a place of wanting to improve perceived flaws or failings? Or is it grounded in aspirations toward better wellbeing and fulfillment?
The former motivation often leads to self-judgment when resolutions fail. The latter focuses on intentions over outcomes – an attitude Green sees as vital for sustainable growth.
Intentions Over Resolutions
“Rather than rigid resolutions, I ask my clients to set intentional themes for the months ahead,” says Green. These flexible intentions allow for self-compassion when life gets in the way of specific goals.
An intention might be to move your body in ways that feel good a few times a week. A resolution would set a strict regimen with metrics like losing 10 pounds in 2 months.
“When we focus on self-acceptance first, external changes tend to follow more easily,” explains Green.
5 Questions to Ask Yourself
Here are 5 self-reflection questions Green suggests as you set your new year’s intentions:
- How can I approach this year with more self-compassion and less self-criticism?
- What are small, sustainable steps I can take toward better wellbeing?
- How can I motivate myself with love rather than pressure?
- What parts of my lifestyle bring me joy that I can build on?
- How can I celebrate each step of the journey rather than just the outcomes?
Focus Areas for Wellbeing
Beyond setting broad intentions, Green advocates choosing 1-2 specific areas to focus on improving your daily wellness. Areas she recommends considering:
- Nutrition: Exploring healthy, seasonal recipes
- Physical activity: Finding enjoyable, maintainable movement
- Work-life balance: Setting better boundaries
- Personal growth: Reading, new hobbies, community
- Spiritual wellness: Spending time in nature, meditation
Go At Your Own Pace
“Be patient and compassionate with yourself above all else,” Green emphasizes. “Lasting change comes step-by-step, not all at once. If you need to adjust your intentions, that’s OK. You get to decide what feels right for you.”
The Cognitive Shift: Moving from Scarcity to Abundance
To fully embrace Ava Green’s philosophy, one must first address the underlying psychological framework of the traditional resolution. Most resolutions are born from a ‘scarcity mindset’—the belief that we are currently lacking, broken, or insufficient. When we resolve to “stop being lazy” or “fix our diet,” we are operating from a place of self-negation. Green suggests that intentions, conversely, should bloom from an ‘abundance mindset.’ This doesn’t mean ignoring areas of growth, but rather framing them as an evolution of an already worthy self.
Consider the difference in internal pressure when you shift from “I need to lose weight because I’m unhappy with my body” (scarcity) to “I intend to honor my body’s need for vitality and strength” (abundance). The former creates a binary of success or failure; the latter creates a spectrum of opportunity. In practice, this means looking at your current life and identifying the ‘seeds’ of wellness already present. Perhaps you already enjoy a morning cup of tea in silence. An abundance-based intention would be to expand that moment of peace, rather than berating yourself for not meditating for thirty minutes in a dark room. By focusing on what is already working, you reduce the cortisol spike associated with ‘failing’ a rigid goal, allowing your nervous system to remain in a state conducive to change.
Edge cases often arise when individuals face genuine health crises or professional burnout where ‘abundance’ feels out of reach. In these instances, Green advises a ‘neutrality shift.’ If you cannot find abundance, aim for functional intention. Instead of intending for ‘joy,’ intend for ‘gentleness.’ This subtle linguistic pivot prevents the ‘toxic positivity’ trap while still steering clear of the harshness of traditional resolutions.
Somatic Intention Setting: Listening to the Body’s Cues
While resolutions are often intellectual constructs—lists made in a notebook based on what we think we *should* do—intentions are most powerful when they are somatic, or felt in the body. Green encourages her clients to perform a ‘body scan’ when choosing their themes for the year. This involves sitting quietly and mentally reciting a potential intention, then noticing the physical reaction it triggers. Does the thought of ‘strict discipline’ make your chest tighten or your breath become shallow? That is a somatic signal of resistance, suggesting the goal may be rooted in external pressure rather than internal desire.
Conversely, a well-aligned intention often produces a sense of ‘expansive release’—a softening of the shoulders or a deep, involuntary sigh. To practice this, try on different words like garments. Test the word ‘Rest,’ then ‘Adventure,’ then ‘Consistency.’ Notice which one feels like a ‘yes’ in your gut. This biofeedback is often more accurate than our logical minds, which are heavily influenced by societal trends and social media comparisons.
For those who struggle with interoception (the ability to sense internal bodily states), Green recommends using a ‘weighted scale’ approach. Rate a potential intention on a scale of 1 to 10 based on how much ‘energy’ it gives you versus how much it ‘drains’ you. If an intention to ‘network more’ feels like a 2 on the energy scale, it is likely a resolution in disguise. If ‘creative play’ feels like an 8, that is your true North Star. This somatic alignment ensures that your intentions are sustainable because they are fueled by your own natural vitality rather than sheer willpower.
Environmental Anchoring: Designing Space for Intentionality
Intentions are easy to set but even easier to forget in the chaos of daily life. To bridge this gap, Green advocates for ‘Environmental Anchoring’—the practice of physically altering your surroundings to reflect your internal shifts. If your intention is ‘Digital Mindfulness,’ an environmental anchor might be a beautiful ceramic bowl placed by the front door where your phone ‘sleeps’ from 7 PM onwards. The bowl serves as a visual and tactile reminder of your intention, requiring no active memory to trigger the behavior.
This goes beyond simple organization; it is about the ‘architecture of choice.’ We often fall into old habits because our environments are designed for them. If you intend to prioritize ‘Nourishment,’ but your kitchen counters are cluttered with mail and gadgets, the friction of preparing a healthy meal may override your intention. Clearing a dedicated space for food prep—perhaps adding a small vase of fresh herbs—transforms the environment from a place of stress to a sanctuary of intention.
For office workers, an anchor might be a specific stone or a small plant on the desk that represents ‘Boundaries.’ When you feel the urge to say ‘yes’ to an unreasonable request, touching that object can ground you back in your intention. These physical touchstones act as ‘pattern breakers,’ interrupting the autopilot mode that often leads us back to the very behaviors we wish to evolve away from.
The Seasonal Rhythm of Intentions: Aligning with Nature’s Cycle
A major flaw in the traditional New Year’s resolution is its timing. In the Northern Hemisphere, January is the heart of winter—a time for hibernation, reflection, and conservation of energy. Yet, we demand of ourselves a ‘spring-like’ burst of growth and activity. Green suggests that intentions should be fluid and seasonal rather than static for twelve months. She breaks the year into ‘Intentional Quarters,’ allowing the focus to shift as the environment changes.
In the winter months (Q1), the intention might be ‘Deep Rest’ or ‘Internal Reflection.’ This is the time for reading, nourishing soups, and early bedtimes. As spring arrives (Q2), the intention can naturally shift toward ‘Growth’ or ‘Movement,’ mirroring the literal blooming of the world. Summer (Q3) might focus on ‘Connection’ and ‘Abundance,’ while Autumn (Q4) centers on ‘Harvest’ and ‘Letting Go.’ By aligning your personal goals with the natural world, you stop fighting the biological urge to slow down when it’s dark and cold, and you harness the natural surge of energy when the days lengthen.
This seasonal approach also provides a natural ‘reset’ button. If an intention didn’t resonate in the first quarter, you aren’t stuck with it for the rest of the year. You have the permission to shed it like leaves in the fall and plant something entirely new in the spring. This prevents the ‘all-or-nothing’ despair that often hits in mid-February when people realize they haven’t stuck to their rigid January 1st mandates.
Language Matters: The Power of Reframing Internal Dialogue
The words we use to describe our journey significantly impact our neurobiology. Resolutions often utilize ‘imperative language’—words like *must, should, always,* and *never*. This language activates the amygdala, the brain’s fear center, which can trigger a ‘freeze’ response or a sense of rebellion. Green teaches her clients to use ‘declarative and invitational language’ instead. Instead of saying “I must go to the gym,” try “I am a person who values physical freedom.”
Reframing is particularly vital when dealing with setbacks. When a resolution is broken, the internal dialogue is often punitive: “I failed again; I have no willpower.” When an intention is present, a setback is viewed as ‘data.’ If your intention was ‘Patience’ and you lost your temper, the reframed dialogue becomes: “I noticed a moment where I struggled with patience. What was the trigger, and how can I support myself better next time?” This shifts the focus from character judgment to curiosity.
Another powerful linguistic tool is the use of the word ‘and.’ We often live in ‘either/or’ extremes: “I am either healthy or I am lazy.” Green encourages ‘both/and’ thinking. “I am someone who values health, *and* today I needed extra rest.” This acknowledges the complexity of human life and prevents the shame spirals that derail most self-improvement efforts. By changing the syntax of your thoughts, you change the emotional climate of your mind, making it a much more hospitable place for long-term growth.
Managing the “Failure Paradox” and the Art of the Pivot
One of the most significant hurdles in wellness is the ‘Failure Paradox’—the idea that if we aren’t perfect, we have failed entirely. In the world of resolutions, a single ‘cheat meal’ or a missed workout often leads to the ‘What the Hell Effect,’ where a person decides that since they’ve already failed, they might as well overindulge. Green’s intention-based model eliminates this paradox because an intention cannot be ‘broken’; it can only be ‘departed from’ and ‘returned to.’
The ‘Art of the Pivot’ is a practical skill Green teaches to handle these moments. If you set an intention for ‘Financial Mindfulness’ but make an impulsive purchase, the pivot isn’t to give up on the month’s budget. Instead, you acknowledge the impulse, investigate the emotional need behind the purchase (were you bored, sad, or seeking a reward?), and then immediately return to the intention. The goal is to shorten the time between the ‘departure’ and the ‘return.’
This approach also covers ‘life pivots’—major unexpected changes like an injury, a job loss, or a family crisis. A resolution to run a marathon is shattered by a sprained ankle, often leading to a total loss of momentum. However, an intention to ‘challenge my physical limits’ can be pivoted into ‘mastering upper-body strength’ or ‘learning the discipline of physical therapy.’ The intention remains intact even when the method of delivery must change. This resilience is what makes intentions more ‘antifragile’ than resolutions.
Ritualizing the Check-In: Sustaining Momentum Through Small Ceremonies
To keep intentions alive, Green suggests moving away from ‘tracking’ (which feels like a chore) and toward ‘ritualizing’ (which feels like a gift). A weekly or monthly ‘Intention Ceremony’ doesn’t need to be elaborate. It could be as simple as lighting a candle on Sunday evening and journaling for ten minutes on how your chosen theme showed up in your life that week. The focus should be on ‘noticing’ rather than ‘measuring.’
During these rituals, Green recommends three specific prompts to keep the momentum gentle yet consistent:
- Where did I see my intention in action this week? (Focuses on success and awareness)
- When did I feel a disconnect from my intention? (Focuses on identifying obstacles without judgment)
- What does ‘support’ look like for me in the coming week? (Focuses on proactive self-care)
By ritualizing the process, you transform self-improvement from a high-stakes performance into a rhythmic part of your lifestyle. It becomes a time of sanctuary rather than a time of audit. This consistency, built on a foundation of self-compassion, is what ultimately leads to the ‘effortless’ change Green describes. When the check-in becomes something you look forward to—a moment of quiet in a loud world—the intention naturally weaves itself into the fabric of your identity, requiring less and less conscious effort to maintain.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the difference between a resolution and an intention?
A resolution is a firm decision to do or not do something. An intention is a conscious motivation toward a goal. Intentions allow more flexibility and self-compassion.
Why does the author recommend focusing on self-care first?
The author explains that when we come from a place of self-acceptance and compassion, positive external changes naturally follow more easily and sustainably than self-imposed pressure.
What are some examples of intention setting?
Example intentions might be wanting to nurture more self-kindness, take small steps toward better nutrition, or set better work-life boundaries. The focus is on the motivation, not specific measurable targets.
What are some areas of life to consider for wellbeing intentions?
Areas to consider focus intentions in include physical activity, work-life balance, nutrition, personal growth through hobbies and learning, and spiritual wellness through nature and meditation.
Why does the author recommend going at your own pace?
The author emphases patience and self-compassion when making lifestyle changes related to wellbeing. Forcing rigid expectations rather than sustaining positive motivations leads to self-judgment and failure, ultimately being counterproductive.








